Aki Kärkkäinen

Feeding Back and Forward

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Photo by Wiki Sinaloa on Unsplash.

How do you improve?

How do you learn and find out things? Usually by experimenting, and by getting feedback. For any behaviour change to stick, you need both feedback and new habits. Feedback is at the heart of Agile, Systems Thinking and Psychological Safety, too. In this post, I’ll focus on feedback in its various forms, discuss some of the challenges, and conclude with some useful practices, for both feedback receivers and givers.

Two Needs

Traditionally, feedback means getting information about ourselves and our actions. It’s a form of learning and improving. In addition to learning, however, we humans also have a need for acceptance. Do you want to feel good, or work better? The answer may have to do with you being an expert (or not). The feedback we get from others can help us fulfil both of these needs.

Feedback

Receiver

As receivers, the way we hear feedback affects how we react to it. Do we hear it as evaluation, as improvement suggestion, or as appreciation? If we feel we’re being judged or compared, or that the feedback clashes with our identity, we push back. The solution? Be curious, cultivate a growth mindset, and at least try to understand the feelings, needs and wants of the person giving the feedback.

Giver

As givers, we interpret what we observe and fill in the gaps with a story. With that story, we add meaning—a label—to what we see. Then, we give feedback in the form of appreciation, coaching or evaluation. We often also clarify our expectations for the future. During my life I’ve met very few people who are good at giving feedback. It’s the receiver who decides what to do with the feedback, no matter how skilled the giver is. Feedback works best with Pull, not Push.

Feedforward

One big issue with feedback is that it’s static: you can’t change the past. A more interesting and dynamic approach is feedforward: as a giver, you give someone else suggestions for the future and help as much as you can. And as a receiver, you listen to the suggestions and learn as much as you can. I’ve found this tool to be a valuable addition to my toolbox 🙂

Systems Thinking

There are many other factors in feedback discussions as well: our feelings, identities, relationships and roles, as well as the processes and culture of the wider organisation. In other words, it’s a complex and nonlinear (human) system. This not only means that we see only part of the problem, but also that we are part of the problem. Balancing and reinforcing feedback loops—along with delay—are central to Systems Thinking.

These kinds of systemic insights can help us understand how things we do—or fail to do—contribute to, and affect the whole. Feedback is a gift: an opportunity not only to improve ourselves, but also tweak the system. Accepting these insights makes feedback easier to both give and take in. In the intersection there is no one to blame.

Photo by Ron Whitaker on Unsplash.

Agile Methodologies

Openness is one of the five Scrum values, and it also includes openness to feedback. Scrum has several feedback loops for teamwork and customer collaboration:

  • Product (Sprint Review)
  • Process (Retrospective)
  • Daily cycle (Daily Scrum)
  • Ad-hoc (anytime)

Agile is all about short feedback loops and learning. Scrum, for example, is disruptive in a sense that it exposes the gap between Scrum and Agile values and your team’s and organisation’s current habits. The same is true for the gap between Current and Unrealised Value in your product or service (see EBM).

That’s all feedback, and it’s up to you to act on it. Additionally, in today’s multicultural agile teams, you need to be aware of different cultures and contexts.

Some Challenges

It’s all easier said than done. Our behavioral blind spots can prevent us from seeing or understanding the feedback, especially if we perceive it differently than what the giver intended. When the wires get crossed things get more complicated. The Johari window is a powerful way of modeling our blind spots.

Secondly, negative feedback has the potential to throw our brains into survival mode. It turns out that fear is not a good motivator. You need Psychological Safety: according to Google’s Project Aristotle, Psychological Safety is the single most important characteristic of a high-performing team.

Thirdly, we should not underestimate the role of different cultures and backgrounds. The direct “in-your-face” feedback you can get in Denmark or in the Netherlands, for example, would not work in India or Japan (not even in Finland!). I’ve experienced this many times in practice in my multicultural teams in different countries I’ve lived in over the years (not to mention distributed teams!). Erin Meyer’s The Culture Map is one recommended resource for studying how culture affects feedback (among other things).

Some Tips

Based on both my experience and relevant literature (see book list at the end), here are some tips for your next feedback discussion:

Receiver

  • Seek and find the forward-looking coaching aspect in any feedback
  • Separate judgment (opinion) from assessment
  • Shift from fixed mindset to growth mindset
  • See challenge as learning opportunity
  • Be open to seeing yourself in new ways
  • Manage your internal voice
  • Manage your emotional triggers

Lastly: don’t exaggerate the feedback you get. Feedback is information for learning and improving, but it doesn’t define who you are. You are who you choose to become.

Giver

  • Be specific with your feedback
  • Start with I feel..., sharing your feelings, not your judgments
  • Challenge the story you’re telling yourself
  • Show empathy, curiosity, and genuine interest for connection
  • Be authentic
  • Separate impact from intention
  • Be aware of cultural differences

For both receiver and giver, the important first step is to seek to understand first.

Some Tools

Feedback Staircase (receiver)

Feedback Staircase by Jarl Silfverberg is a tool that I’ve found useful. Here are the steps:

  1. Deny—That’s not true.
  2. Defend—I had a reason.
  3. Explain—Let me clarify.
  4. Understand—I get it now.
  5. Change—I’ll do it differently, or Remain – I choose not to change.

I like this because it creates awareness and helps navigate the feedback conversation. It’s hard to find information about this model online, but it’s often referenced in leadership trainings in Sweden.

Feedback Wrap (giver)

You’ve probably heard about the praise sandwich. According to Jurgen Appelo, there’s a better way to give feedback: the Feedback Wrap. Here are the steps:

  1. Context: What’s the problem?
  2. Observations: What has happened?
  3. Emotions: What does this make you feel?
  4. Value: What do you want to happen?
  5. Suggest: Is there something I can do to make this happen?

Conclusion

Feedback can be tricky, but we can’t live, work or learn without it. It all starts with understanding first, both on a personal and on a systemic level (team, cultural, organisational, and even global level). In this post, I’ve shared some thoughts and tips on giving and receiving feedback in a constructive and future-focused way.

Try using the Feedback Staircase, the Feedback Wrap, Feedforward, the Johari window and Systems Thinking in your feedback discussions. See if they increase Psychological Safety in your Agile teams. Be aware of different cultures, your stories and filters, your mindset and your identity. Keep in mind that change is hard without first feeling understood.

Thanks for reading! What will you do differently next time you give or receive feedback?

Book and Article Recommendations

Here are some of my favourite books on giving and receiving feedback: